You Are My Sunshine
by Ellsweetella
Summary: Caskett, AU. So please don't take my sunshine away.


**A/N: This is my first Castle fanfiction and it did not go the way I planned. But please enjoy and leave a review (if you want). It is unbeta'd so all the mistakes are mine. :D**

* * *

The_ other night dear, as I lay sleeping/I dreamed I held you in my arms_

Richard Castle was woken up by the heaviness and numbness of his hand and the warm soft thing (was it a thing?) that pressed against his chest.

He cracked open an eye, groaning slightly as his hand tingled.

And he smiled, for there was Kate Beckett, curled up next to him, her hair falling all over her face and her lips slightly parted. Her palm was pressed against his chest, her fingers curling slightly and her head was resting against his arm. Well, that explained the numbness.

He brushed the fallen locks of hair, tucking them behind her ears with his free hand. She was beautiful.

She wriggled her nose and pressed her nose against his warm skin, sighing contently as she inhaled his scent.

And he stroked her hair, feeling the softness under his fingertips.

He loved her.

He loved her so much.

He loved her so, so, so much.

And she was real. She was really here, with him, next to him in his bed.

She was real and she wasn't a dream.

And he pressed a kiss to her forehead, falling back to sleep.

Years of waiting, years of wanting, and his dream had finally came true.

And reality was better than a dream.

So much better.

(But he was still afraid that he would wake up one day and find that she was no longer here, with him.)

* * *

_When I awoke dear, I was mistaken, so I bowed my head and I cried._

She was gone.

His heart stopped.

It was a dream wasn't it?

Someone like her couldn't be with someone like _him_.

People slip through his fingertips, they don't stay, and they don't love him.

And he shuts them out with a mask he wore.

But Beckett, oh Beckett, she made him better, she changed him.

And he couldn't lose her. Not again.

He scrambled up from the bed, frantic and afraid, his eyes darting around trying to find her. Any sign of her. Just give him a sign that she wasn't a dream.

He could hear the voices in his mind, mocking him, taunting him, telling him that he could never deserve her and she would always leave, just like his nightmares.

They always left.

Castle wasn't someone with insecurities. Hell, he was supposed to be confident, _over-confident_ but facing Beckett, he couldn't help but to doubt himself.

She was strong, confident and she did not need him.

He needed to be needed.

He was overthinking it. Rambling.

But-

But-

"Rick," he heard her voice, soft and soothing. "Babe, what's wrong?"

She was in the hallway, in his shirt, her hair messy and tousled, looking perfectly comfortable.

"Nothing," he lied, the words tasting bitter as it rolled off his tongue.

She frowned, her hazel eyes flecked with golden dust scrutinising him.

"I made coffee," she moved towards him, the tips of her fingers brushing his cheek lightly.

He couldn't respond; his words were stuck in his throat.

She wrapped her arms around his waist, melding her body with his. She was warm and soft and fitted perfectly.

"I'm here. I'm right here."

He breathed her in, all cherries and springtime, her scent overwhelming his senses. He held her tightly against him, clutching her.

She looked up, brown meeting blue, fusing together as one.

"I will always be here. Always," she said, a promise, an oath.

"_Always,"_ he repeated slowly, savouring each syllabus.

"Always."

And he felt himself relax, slowly but surely.

And he knew, he knew that she loved him and she wasn't like the others.

* * *

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

"What are you looking at?" she raised her eyebrows, looking up from her pile of papers.

"You," he replied simply with a grin.

She blushed, a ghost of a smile flickering over her face.

And his grin broadened. She rolled her eyes despite the warmth that spread through her body, pooling in her stomach and heart and continued working on those tedious paperwork.

A comfortable silence fell upon them as he continued watching her, studying every part of her face, imprinting her features onto his brain.

He did not want to forget her. Never.

"I love you," she blurted out, surprising both Castle and her.

"I know," he smirked, his response earning another playful eye roll from her.

"Shut up."

"As you wish."

The smiles that hung on their faces could rival the stars.

"I'm done. Let's go home," Kate announced with relief after another tedious two hours of work.

_Home. _

That's right. Let's go home.

"Yea."

* * *

"She makes you happy doesn't she?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yes," Castle said, without any doubt in his voice.

Alexis smiled. She had seen how her father was with Detective Beckett and she was glad. She was glad that they were finally together. Detective Beckett-no, Kate- was truly good for her dad. She was his medicine. It had been ages since she had last saw her father feeling truly happy until Kate had walked into his life.

Of course she was worried for her father, whose life might be in danger for working with the NYPD but most importantly it made her father happy. Kate made her father happy.

Alexis liked Kate. Kate accepted her, embraced her as family. She was like a mother, a _real _mother, not one who would irresponsibly bring her out for short overseas trips in the middle of a school weak. Kate was there and she truly cared for their family-grandmother, father and daughter.

Alexis had seen the way her father looked at Kate. He looked at her like she was the Sun, the light at the end of the tunnel. She was the sun, the earth, the wind. She was springtime and he was the plant that thrives under her sunlight, the bird that sings with the wind.

He loved Kate.

And that was enough, for now.

"Y-You don't like her?" Fear embedded in his forehead.

"No! Of course not Dad. I like Kate. I really do. I just want you to be happy," she smiled at her father, the very man who had brought her up, who loved her with every fibre of his body.

"I love you pumpkin," he enveloped her in an embrace.

"I love you too, daddy."

* * *

_You make me happy, when skies are grey._

"I don't want to forget you," he whispered, broken.

"You won't," she tried to be firm but found her voice faltering, carried by the waves of emotions that crashed inside of her.

"You don't know that!" he shouted, his frustration breaking through his controlled heart.

"Castle," she begged, reaching out to touch him.

"Why me Kate?" A typical question asked by victims of illnesses.

And she could not reply him. Who could reply him?

"I don't want to forget! I can't- I am only 44. I can't-"

_Early onset dementia. _He shouldn't be having dementia, an illness associated with the old. He was only 44, at his prime. He shouldn't have dementia. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair.

She pulled him onto her lap, cupping his face, stroking his hair, doing whatever it took to comfort him, to take away some of the pain.

"It's not fair," he whispered, his tears brimming his clouded blue eyes.

She held him, cradling him.

"I'm here Castle, I'm here. Always," she whispered into his ears.

"I will not allow you to forget me. I will not allow you to forget Alexis. I will not allow you to forget Martha," she promised. She was going to fight the illness with him. They will always be together, fighting for each other, even if they had to claw their way through.

He pressed his lips against her, frantic and desperate to taste her, to commit her to memory. He did not want to forget. He did not want to live his life without her, without remember all those times he had spent with her.

With her lips moving with his in a frantic dance, they found themselves on the bed, their clothes strewn all over the floor.

She was warm against his skin, burning him. And he gripped her waist as he entered her, his eyes never once leaving hers.

He trailed kisses over her body, marking her, memorising her taste, the feel of her in his palms, the softness of her body beneath his.

She was moaning and writhing under his desperate touches that set her on fire. She touched him, kissing him, holding him.

He was drowning and she was the straw in the middle of the ocean, the only hope, the only thing that could keep him afloat.

He was so, so desperate to live, to stay alive.

"Castle. Rick, _Castle,_" she gasped, his name tracing her lips over and over again.

"_Kate_."

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

The words hung in the air with their heavy pants.

But it didn't stop the tears that flowed from their eyes.

* * *

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

"Hello," she breathed out, smiling.

"Hello," he was equally breathless as he woke up, staring into the eyes of the woman he loved dearly.

She closed her eyes, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

He wrapped his arms around her, smiling into her hair.

"It's time to wake up," he grinned.

She whined, pressing herself against him and wrapping her legs around his.

She was surprisingly needy today.

"One more minute," she sighed, cuddling up to him.

She wasn't usually this needy, or a fan of cuddling but ever since…

Ever since they knew about his illness.

She was more open, more willing to show her love, like she might loose him anytime soon.

She might loose him anytime soon.

His memory was deteriorating at an incredible speed. Way too fast.

It started small, forgetting small things like doing the dishes, or where he had put his keys. But then, he started forgetting if he had brushed his teeth, if he had had his coffee.

And he had mixed the dates up, forgotten the time, the year.

Just yesterday (or was it a week?), he had forgotten that Alexis was in college.

And a few days ago, he had forgotten that Kate Beckett was here, with him.

He had started forgetting key memories and that scared him.

Oh god, he was terrified, so fucking terrified.

He was afraid that he would forget his love for Kate Beckett.

What if he had forgotten his family?

What if he had forgotten Kate?

What if he had forgotten his love?

The love that kept him going. His love for Kate, his love for his family. What if he forgets?

"I love you and you love me. Always." she said, her eyes brimming, overflowing with love. It had become a routine. Everyday, every morning, she would tell him that. She would remind him of her love for him and his love for her.

She wanted him to know how much she loved him. Every day, every hour, every minute, every second was precious to them.

"Castle, would you marry me?"

"Yes." He cried, for he loved her.

* * *

_So please don't take my sunshine away_

"Hello," she entered the room with a smile on her face.

She had wavy brown hair that framed her face. And on that face, she had the most striking hazel eyes that were flecked with golden dust. And in those pair of familiar eyes, love was carved in them.

And oh, she was so, so, beautiful. His body ached for her.

"I am Detective Kate Castle," she walked up to him, stretching out her right hand, offering it to him.

He took it in his, marvelling at how hers fitted perfectly with his.

"You have the same last name as me," he remarked.

"Yes." There were tears in her eyes.

Why was she crying?

He brushed her tears away with is thumb, his heart aching. Why did his heart ache?

"Don't cry," he said softly as he had the urge to hold her tightly in his arms.

"You are a detective? That's so cool," he continued, trying to change the topic. He wanted her to smile, wanted her to be happy.

"I'd be happy to let you spank me," the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could think.

And she smiled, the most brilliant smile.


End file.
